Forget the Time

Aug 21, 2015 by

“If you put time as a restriction on anything, anything – whether it be work, relationships, anything – you will be bound by it.”

– Manik Bola


          “If you met a guy who lived in another country, would you move to him?” one of my mom’s friends recently asked me.

          I felt my mouth curve into an immediate smile.

          “You would,” he answered himself in defeat. “I can see it in your face.”

          My grin turned to laughter. “I’m pretty adventurous,” I said.




          “Hey girl!” I exclaimed as I nearly skipped toward my pole partner on Tuesday evening, not having seen her at the studio in weeks due to her bronchitis.

          “I need to talk to you after class,” she said. “I need your say-yes attitude.”

          “Okay,” I smiled, pretty sure I could guess what this was about based on the anxiety in her eyes.

          She ended up having to tap out of class early because she couldn’t stop coughing, so our talk was reserved for dinner the next evening.

          “You met a guy, didn’t you?” I asked without needing to on Wednesday night while on our way to a downtown Ethiopian restaurant.

          “Yeah,” she smiled.

          “I knew it!” I exclaimed. Apprehension about a guy was the only thing that would make her as uneasy as she had been the day before. “At Boots and Hearts?”

          “Yeah,” she continued to beam as she went into the full story of how she met the guy at the campsite across from hers, ending with: “He’s from New Brunswick.”


          “He lives there,” she said, “but he’s moving to Ontario.”

          “Ah!” I squealed as I clasped my hands together. “This is so exciting!”

          “So my flight leaves to New Brunswick on September 9 and then we’re driving here together after my visit.”

          “You booked a flight? Yes!” I cheered, thrilled that she was going against her usual skepticism in favour of spontaneity.

          “That’s why I wanted to talk to you yesterday. I hadn’t bought my ticket yet, and I knew you’d give me the push to do it.”

          “Yes!” I continued to shriek. “You know my answer to these things is always yes! And clearly you went with it!”

          “I’m scared,” she admitted.

          “Good! Always do the things that scare you,” I advised.

          “This is happening so fast,” she stressed.

          “Timing doesn’t matter, Ang. What matters is that you’re interested enough to fly to see him and he’s interested enough to move two provinces over to date you. It’s supposed to be like this!” I assured. “You’re supposed to be this excited about each other!”

          I went on to emphasize that there is no such thing as too fast or too slow. Society maps out timelines based on what is typical or expected. You do not have to follow them. I encourage you not to follow them. Your life decisions should be based on your wants and your expectations. If you want to skip school to travel, do it. If you want to ditch work to dance, do it. If you want to hop on a plane or move provinces to be with someone you just met, do it.




Happiness Tip: Don’t put time as a restriction on anything.

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