Small Talk is Like Melba Toast

Jun 2, 2015 by

          I was texting a guy from Tinder a couple weeks ago (after logging in for the first time since last year, because why not?), and he mentioned Lamebook.

          “What’s Lamebook?” I asked.

          “Lamebook is basically this site where they upload really stupid posts that people make on Facebook,” he explained. “It’s hilarious.”

          “I can totally see how there’s an entire site based on that,” I replied in amusement.

          “Check it out. It’s so funny.”

          “Haha, I don’t even read statuses on the regular Facebook,” I said.

          “I feel ya. I have no social media except Facebook, and I go on about twice a week,” he told me.

          “Good policy!” I commended. “I had no social media for four years.”

          “My kinda girl!”

          “Then I started a blog and wanted to get it out there,” I continued, “so I post but don’t look at other people’s stuff.”

          “That makes total sense. I just find most people’s posts as being attention-seeking and kind of lame – at least ones about what they did over the weekend. If your life is so great, why do you have to tell the world about it? Isn’t it enough that you’re having such a great time? Know what I mean?” he ended rhetorically.

          “For me, it’s more that I don’t want the illusion that everyone else is insanely happy all the time, because I don’t want it to skew how I look at my own life,” I began to relay my perspective in a message that was over 1.5 times the size of my screen by the time I was done. “I don’t care if people share what they’re up to. I just make sure not to look at it to keep focus on my own life. I share a lot of what I’m doing, because part of the purpose of my blog is to encourage people to get out there, so I want to lead by example. But another huge focus of my blog is to show authentic happiness, that to be happy doesn’t mean to be happy 24/7. So all the can’t-get-over-a-guy, quitting-work-and-flying-to-Paris-isn’t-as-amazing-as-I-thought-it-would-be, Brazilian-waxes-really-effing-hurt, honest stuff gets posted too. I’m very anti-filter. I like to be real with people, even over the internet.”

          “That’s a pretty insightful point, that one can be happy and that does not mean you have to be happy all the time.”

          “Yeah, it’s one of the biggest things I learned through my blog. Crappy things can happen and you can have shitty days, but it’s all about how you cope and move on.”

          “Agreed!” he replied. “I appreciate that kind of candor in people,” he said in reference to my talk about posting honestly.

          “Me too,” I said. “I love when people are bold enough to go beyond small talk.”

          “I feel you. Small talk is like Melba toast. I’ll eat it, but I’d rather have something with a little more spunk to it.”

          “I like that comparison,” I laughed. “I am so proud of our generation for a lot of things. I think it’s filled with progressive and critical thinkers. But so many people are still afraid to be themselves. Being sad shouldn’t be taboo. It’s human,” I stated. “Ah!” I stopped myself. “I could go on forever. I hate the things society teaches us to think. I’m very big on people thinking for themselves.”

          “Very interesting perspective,” he said. “Seriously.”

Happiness Tip: Real talk.

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