A Tiny Glimmer of Nothing

Apr 21, 2015 by

“Remember your worth, doll. The rest will happen in time.”

– A friend

 

          “I need you to talk some sense into me,” I said to the friend featured above through the phone as I walked from my office to the nearest Starbucks after work today.

          “Okay,” she said after fumbling through her car for her headset.

          I rambled my explanation of why I thought about seeing him before admitting to wanting to.

          “No,” she responded shortly. “There is no sense needed. Just no.”

          “That’s what I thought,” I laughed.

          “He has done nothing to show you that you are of any value to him,” she said.

          “I know,” I sighed. “It’s just – my vagina!” I exclaimed, using my cooch as my scapegoat.

          “This is why you need to go home and take care of your vagina,” she sternly replied.

          “It wants him,” I brushed off her suggestion.

          “Your vagina doesn’t want him!” she protested, hilariously appalled. “You have a need that isn’t being fulfilled. Your vagina will take anything! You want him,” she stated, “because you have feelings attached to him.”

          “I know,” I sighed again through laughter. “It’s not like my vagina would get him anyway; I wouldn’t let it go there. I just have a few hours before – I’m having dinner with a reader of The Happiness Experiment tonight! I’m so excited!” I interrupted myself. “You know how I feel about parking, so I have a few hours before I have to be downtown. I’m going to Starbucks to write, but I was thinking, since I have a few hours –”

          “No,” she disputed before I could even finish. “This boy doesn’t exist to you. And even if he did, even if he answered and said he’d be there in 10 minutes, then what?”

          “Then I see him?” I responded with uncertainty, thinking the “then what” was obvious until the question was posed.

          “And?”

          “And we talk?” I continued in my unsure tone, losing sight of what about him I could have possibly thought would be beneficial to me tonight.

          She waited for me to come up with a better answer.

          “I won’t do it,” I surrendered.

          “And I’ll slap you if I find out you do!” she warned.

          I laughed. “He’s not worth ruining my night,” I voiced what I already knew before calling her.

          “He’s not worth ruining your night,” she firmly agreed. “And for what? A coffee date?”

          That was the hit-home point. I’m so desperate to see this guy that I’d be over the moon just to have coffee with him, I thought to myself. That makes me feel pathetic. I am not okay with feeling pathetic.

          “If I were there, I’d slap you right now,” my friend continued.

          “Well, I’m glad I’m here and you’re stuck on the highway,” I joked before she moved the conversation to my other options.

          “I don’t have other options,” I reminded.

          “That’s because you’ve been on a dating embargo,” she retorted. “Maybe your time before going downtown tonight would be better spent writing for only an hour so you can swipe through Tinder for a bit.”

          “Ugh, I don’t want to go on Tinder,” I whined.

          “Then get inside that Starbucks and start talking to the two cute baristas that I know work there,” she instructed, making me smile.

          I walked into Starbucks and forgot to even look at the baristas. I also forgot about contacting him.

Happiness Tip: Remember your worth.

 
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