Unsolicited Photos: Why, boys? Why?

Dec 18, 2014 by

          “Want to hear about the latest adventure in twenty-something dating?” I bitterly asked my 16-year-old sister on Tuesday night, snapping my fingers in annoyance.

          She was already laughing.

          “Fucking Tinder!” I exclaimed.

 

***

 

          “So, when a guy sends you a picture of his abs, what do you say?” I texted Olivia earlier that night.

          “Well, if you want to sext him, then carry on,” she replied.

          Let’s talk about the word sext. I fucking hate it. End rant.

          “I don’t think he means it like that. We were talking about the gym,” I explained.

          “Lol. Girl . . .” she typed.

          “This is a guy who wants a relationship, apparently. Lol.”

          “Lol. He’s trying to sext you, girl.”

          Do I live inside a Pretty Little Liars episode? Can’t it still be called flirting by text – or just anything that isn’t a high-school-like blend of sex and text?

          “Anyway, I said I go Monday to Friday,” I continued. “He said I must have a body to die for.”

          I thought that a little weird for someone I hadn’t met to say, but didn’t think too much into it.

          I relayed the rest of the conversation to Olivia: “I said something like, ‘No complaints.’ He said, ‘Confidence is hot. I’m a teaser,’ and sent a pic. Hmm, this does sound bad,” I realized.

          “Lmao. Girl, he’s trying to sext you,” she repeated.

          “But it was out of NOWHERE! The convo was totally casual before the gym. HE WAS COMPLAINING THAT HE MEETS HOOKERS ON TINDER!” I emphasized through the screen. “Is this a sex ploy?” it dawned on me. “Pretend not to want sex to get sex?”

          “Okay, EW, I already hate him. Like, please chill on hookers,” she replied.

          “Yeah, I didn’t like that either,” I agreed.

          My perspective on Tinder is that both girls and guys have the right to use it as either a hookup app or an online dating app. I use it for online dating; and, based on the guys I’ve spoken to, I think it’s more widely used for that purpose now. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the quality of some conversations I’ve had with guys through Tinder. However, I respect that there are guys on there who are only looking for sex, and I expect guys to respect that there are women on there who are also only looking for sex.

          “It makes him look like a good guy. He’s gauging what you’re comfortable with,” Olivia assessed.

          “Yeah, I thought so too.”

          What an idiot. Did he really think misrepresenting himself would work? He asked me what I was looking for from Tinder. When I said a relationship, he said he was looking for a relationship too. A guy that sends a picture of himself in his boxers to a girl he hasn’t met is not looking for a relationship. If he just wants to source fuck buddies, that’s fine. Like I said, I respect that. What I don’t like is dishonesty. I don’t appreciate a guy trying to gain my trust by pretending he’s looking for a relationship only to keep me talking until I magically want to fuck him.

          “It’s okay, I already thought he was weird and wanted to X him,” I told Olivia. “Now, for sure!”

          It’s cliché to say that his questions made me feel like I was being interviewed, but they did. For example, one of his earlier messages read, “So, Maria, tell me, what are your hobbies and interests?” Ew. Could he be a worse conversationalist? I felt that the picture he sent gave me justification to stop talking.

          “Yeah, X this bitch,” Olivia agreed.

          “Those abs though . . .” I typed. “But, #deleted. WHY DO GUYS SEND UNSOLICITED PHOTOS?”

          “THANK YOU. If I want to see something, I’ll ask,” she said.

          Precisely.

          Boys who feel the need to send girls semi-naked or naked pictures, consider the following: Did this girl ask to see my [insert body part that is typically clothed here]? If not, did I ask her if she’s comfortable receiving such a photo? Have I met her? If all questions point to no, please flaunt your body elsewhere.

          Thank God I’ve yet to receive a dick pic. That would not go over well.

 

***

 

          “So you didn’t answer him?” my little sister asked after hearing the story.

          “No! I want a relationship. If I wanted a fuck buddy, I could go knock on Niagara’s door.”

          “And he wouldn’t answer,” she bluntly retorted.

          I hurled over in laughter. She was absolutely right.

 
Previous: When I Want a Guy’s Number, I Go Get It Next: Departure Time to New York City . . .
 

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