No Guy Required

Jul 23, 2014 by

Irene Torres & The Sugar Devils at Taste of Jazz

Irene Torres & The Sugar Devils at Taste of Jazz

          My interest in dating has diminished lately, but that doesn’t mean my dating life needs to come to a complete halt. Apathy to boys need not abolish date nights. To prove it, last night, I took myself out on a date. I needed a happiness boost, and who better to give it to me than myself? I had such a good time that I can confidently say I had more fun dating me than I had dating any guy I’ve been out with this year thus far. Below are six reasons why dating yourself is a fabulous must-do.

1. You can go on one of your dream dates!

          As I’ve said before, I like simple but different. The standard movies, chain-restaurant dinner, mini golf, or [insert other unoriginal date idea here] don’t do it for me. I like creativity. Bonus if it’s free or inexpensive, so the guy and I have a chance to show each other our personalities instead of letting an over-the-top activity speak for us. To help guys feel confortable, I let them take the lead on choosing first date activities; and, because most guys don’t make it beyond date one, I have many unused date ideas of my own. For example, I’ve never been on a food truck date with a guy, hence why I chose Taste of Jazz, an annual outdoor food truck fest accompanied by jazz music, for my date with me. How cute of a date am I?

2. There’s no need to compromise.

          Not only did I get to do exactly what I wanted to do on my date, I wasn’t obligated to do anything I didn’t want to do, namely play sports. I’m open to most date activities, even if they don’t initially peak my interest, because they could be fun, I’m easygoing when it comes to social plans, and l like novelty and variety. My one exception is playing sports. I’ll watch them despite my disinterest in them, make an effort to understand them, and cheer on a guy’s team with him, but please don’t make me play. I will if a guy really wants me to, but I won’t enjoy it. Last night’s date was a sports-free zone. #theperksofdatingmyself

3. You can’t possibly be late.

          I am late for life – literally. My mom was in labour with me for 48 hours, so I’m pretty sure my untimeliness is innate. I simply don’t think punctuality is important, so I don’t care about being on time or my date being on time. In fact, with me, lateness earns guys points. However, I know timeliness is important to many. Although I normally won’t rush in attempt to run by any schedule other than my own, I will make an effort to be on time – or pretty close (five to ten minutes late is basically on time in my books) – for a first date. Conveniently, when dating yourself, arrival time is irrelevant. Earliness and lateness don’t exist. All hail Maria time!

4. You get to pay for yourself!

          Ladies of the opinion that guys should pay for first/all dates likely don’t see this as a pro. I, however, am of the prefer-to-pay-for-myself variety. Guys rarely let me, so I appreciated my own willingness to let myself pay yesterday. For guys, this is a definite advantage. On a solo date, a guy can be certain that there’s no expectation for him to pay for anyone other than himself.

5. You’re guaranteed to be spending time with someone cool (i.e. yourself).

          Boring dates be gone! You are with you! You don’t have to be concerned about another person’s needs. For me, this meant that I got to scope the menu of every single food truck at Taste of Jazz without being rushed to pick what I wanted to eat, which takes me so long that you’d think the decision has life-or-death implications. I got to listen to jazz on the lawn until the music stopped, not having to worry that someone else may want to leave early to get enough sleep before work the next morning. Plus, I got to post to social media as I pleased, a definite typical dating don’t.

          Furthermore, you know the night will end well. When you date you, you don’t have to dodge an end-of-night make-out sesh – or, worse, engage in one only to make the time spent with a blah date somewhat worth it (been there!). Better yet, you don’t have to forward your standard rejection text the next time your date asks you out.

6. You’re free to flirt with whomever!

          This is my favourite part about dating me. I am totally cool with me flirting with other people! Not too long ago, I was on a date with some guy when another guy completely charmed me by telling me that I looked beautiful just as I was about to cross the street. He had balls. He said it right in front of the guy I was with. To be tactful, I said thank you and kept walking. Friends, the sheer willpower I exhibited deserved a medal. He was far more attractive than my date, and charm makes me melt. Last night, it was nice to know that, if such an event occurred again, I was free to flirt back. Of course, such an event did not occur again, because my dating life is more ironic than it is simple.

          Something better happened! A man about my nonno’s age asked me to dance. I absolutely said yes, and I was unexpectedly swing dancing for the first time in my life as a result! Like, legit swing dancing: I was flipped, dipped, and dead-bug dropped! It was incredible! I’ve always wanted to swing, and last night I swung like I was living a movie. I approach random people on the reg, even when with friends, but one of the benefits of being out solo is how much more apt people are to approach me.

          Dating yourself allows for opportunities that dating another person does not. I left Taste of Jazz smitten with myself – and I am rarely smitten with a date – for my ongoing openness to connecting with new people, a quality that I love in anyone. By dating myself, I hit a level of happiness that I haven’t reached in a while. As always, I was all I needed to get there.

Happiness Tip: Take yourself out on a date!

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