Sale Racks: Dior for the Poor

Jul 22, 2014 by

          “I just realized that you’ve given me a lot of near-death scares in the past 24 hours,” Olivia texted me on Saturday afternoon. “First, I thought you were SVUed. Then, I thought you had cancer. What’s next?” (Note: My best friend is a hypochondriac, causing her to jump from routine breast exam to breast cancer. I’m fine.)

          “I’m shopping,” I responded. “That’s always a near-death experience for me.”

 

***

 

          Despite being Italy poor – the traveller’s equivalent of house poor – since booking my flight, I went shopping on the weekend! Be proud, peeps, because my bank account certainly is not. I finally followed through on beginning to replenish the crappy clothes I got rid of at the end of May to make way for new ones. Because there’s always something I’d rather spend my money on than attire, I needed to force my ass to the mall to buy some daily apparel before I dismissed my need in favour of something better, like Arctic Monkeys tickets (please come back to Toronto, boys!).

          I was on a tight budget. I really should be allocating as much money as possible to paying off my flight, but I chose to make shopping a priority because being clothed is a basic public decency that I’m in extreme danger of defying. In collecting advice from friends with great fashion sense and shitloads of clothes, I’ve noticed one commonality amongst all of them: they refuse to pay retail prices. Had they not let me in on this pro shopping tip, I would have never guessed that they religiously buy off the sale racks. Their clothes are so well put together. I never find anything good on sale – or, rather, I never look. I have no patience for sale racks. I have little fashion sense, so I need mannequins to inspire my outfits, and mannequins – those pretentious bitches – never wear sale items. Plus, because I hate shopping, sorting through rows upon rows of clothes that I don’t know how to combine into outfits is my idea of hell. Nonetheless, I am poor. Who am I to buy retail for its convenience? My Saturday afternoon plan: enter hell.

          Turns out that the sale racks are a shopping hater’s relief from clothing nightmares and a poor girl’s key to a pretty wardrobe. Sticking to the sale racks made shopping quicker by limiting my options. I asked for the sale section immediately upon entering each store, not allowing myself to more than glance at the rest of the items, thereby avoiding feelings of deprivation. As I began to find sale items that I really liked, my confidence in my ability to rock the sale racks in search of nice pieces increased. I walked out of the mall with one standard white tank top (a much-needed staple), four dresses (three of which were from Guess, a store I never thought I’d be able to afford in my life), and two shirts (one of which was also from Guess #breakingpoorpeoplebarriers) for a total of only $180.55! Bonus: One of my new dresses is so hot that it’s Hot-Bartender worthy (if I only knew where to find him). Thanks to the sale racks, my wardrobe is making a comeback into existence. As for those obnoxiously priced retail items, they all become sale items eventually!

Happiness Tip: Buy off the sale racks!

 
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