The Best I Ever Had

Jun 28, 2014 by

“You used to get it in your fishnets. Now you only get it in your nightdress. Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness. Landed in a very common crisis. Everything’s in order in a black hole . . . The best you ever had is just a memory.”

Fluorescent Adolescent, Arctic Monkeys


          A little over a year ago, when I admitted that I want a boyfriend, I listed the main qualities I was looking for in one. As I’ve dated, this list has been shot to hell. I forgot about it by gradually learning that a guy can be great on paper without making me feel a thing. Therefore, I don’t care if my future boyfriend is unbelievably charming (but he probably will be, because charm undoes my buttons as if by magic) or has travelled the world over, as long as he makes me feel. I don’t need someone to check off a bunch of characteristics on a list. I just want someone to give me a feeling that no one else does. As I’ve said before, I want the guy that makes me not want to be with any other guy. Until I find him, single I shall be. I’m not locking myself into a relationship only to keep subconsciously looking for better. That’s called settling.

          Fluorescent Adolescent, another Arctic Monkeys song subject to repetition, brought this to mind. Despite its upbeat tone and cheeky lyrics, this song makes me a little sad (as I cheerfully rock out to it, because it’s also fun and catchy!). It tells of a girl who longs for her past, because she remembers it being better than her present. Specifically, she compares her currently boring sex life to her once electric one. The song assesses that she fell into the common phenomenon of routine. The resulting boredom has caused her nostalgia for the exciting guys of her past.

          I don’t want to be the chick described in this song. Thus, I am not settling for less than a relationship that has me thrown against the back of an elevator long after the honeymoon phase. I’m not giving up my freedom to kiss whomever I want for a guy that can’t outshine the past. I don’t do at-par (pun intended) or anyone below it (Vanilla was an exception). I want the best I ever had.

Previous: I Dreamt About You . . . Next: Deciding Against the Escape Route – Again

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