I Dreamt About You Nearly Every Night This Week

Jun 26, 2014 by

“’Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow, and I play it on repeat . . .”

Do I Wanna Know? Arctic Monkeys


          You know those nights when all you want to do is listen to Arctic Monkeys on repeat because 505 somehow reminds you of someone you haven’t seen in a near eternity, even though you only heard the song for the first time less than a week ago? I’ve had three such nights over the past four days. (It would have been four for four had I not gotten home too late on Tuesday night to even entertain the thought of changing into pajamas before bed – never mind typing 505 into YouTube Repeat.) It’s the only thing short of watching the Arctic Monkeys live that has successfully relaxed me lately.

          I’ve been anxious for weeks, maybe longer. Without 505, I have that stupid stitch in my chest that cuts the imaginary cord typically linking inhalation to effective breathing. I miss someone. I don’t know why. Except that’s a complete lie. I know exactly why: I feel like I’ve lost a person who is more important to me than I thought. Worse, there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t deal well with situations that are out of my control. I’m action-oriented. If there’s something I don’t like about my life, my inclination is to fix it. This is not something I can fix. I cannot make someone I miss miss me back. I can honestly express my perspective and my intentions (which I have), but I can’t force someone to want to go along with them. Trying to would be invasive. And so, I am left with space. The Arctic Monkeys are making their best attempt to fill it. #lovethem

Happiness Tip: Play it on repeat.

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