To Do: Chill the Fuck Out

Jun 11, 2014 by

          So, let’s say I leave for Europe this summer to have the adventure of a lifetime. Then what? Not having an answer to this question worries me. Though I’ve been happily living my life, I’ve also had my dream of Europe to look forward to while doing so. Once I’ve made that dream reality, what do I look forward to next? I hate that I’m already jumping ahead to what comes after Europe, but it’s a concern of mine.

          I think too much. I know. I pick apart every miniscule detail of every aspect of every decision, making me extremely indecisive (not to mention anxious). I do this because I feel as though, if I analyze my options enough, I’m more likely to select the right one (even though I know there’s no right one). If for some reason things don’t go in my favour, at least I can rationalize that I took preventative action via overanalysis. I’m afraid of things getting messy, despite knowing that messiness is the premise of epicness.

          Naturally, I’ve been thinking about how I think too much. This was recently linked to my attention to detail. Detail-oriented looks great on a resume, but it can be a real-life nightmare. As was correctly noted to me, detail-oriented people have difficulty formulating plans, because they focus too much on the small components instead of the big picture, making actioning a plan overwhelming. This pretty much nails the reason behind my lifelong procrastination problem. I break tasks or goals into so many little steps that they ironically appear far bigger than they are, sometimes causing me to prolong action. I’ve already begun to do this with Europe. I’ve generated a mental to-do list filled with items that I should probably check off before going, which is doing nothing but convincing me that I can’t leave yet.

          Here’s the beautiful hole in this mentality: I am my own limit. I can do or not do whatever I’d like. I can choose to stress about how I’m going to financially survive Europe/post-Europe or I can just get on a fucking plane without a solid plan and take it as it comes. (Heads up: I suck at taking anything as it comes.) After all, the goal is adventure – not stability. Thus, what comes after Europe doesn’t matter right now. If I come home broke off my ass, I’ll be rich in stories.

 
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