Don’t Play by the Rules

May 27, 2014 by



The most bullshit reason for inaction




          A few days ago, I discussed the importance of accepting your inability to control other people’s actions. In attempt to follow my own advice, I vowed not to act. I reasoned that nothing I do will change what someone else does. I immaturely stated that it was not my move, alluding to a game.

          I hate games.

          I decided to stop playing.

          I made a move.

          I made a move because I’m straightforward. I made a move because I refuse to let pride interfere with my relationships. I made a move because I wanted to. By doing so, I completely disregarded the stupid game I feel like I’ve been sucked into. My move was off the board. It was unanticipated and outside of my comfort zone, and I made it because it scared me. (I’m making this sound a lot bigger than it was. You’d probably laugh at my dramatization if you knew exactly what I was talking about, but the point is that I dismissed both my pride and my fear. #whatwouldyoudoifyouwerentafraid?) Its outcome is irrelevant; its significance lies in its empowerment. I freed myself of my ego. I did something bold. No, what I did does not change how the other person ultimately decides to proceed, but it changes how I feel in response to the situation, which is the essence of my 115th happiness tip. Having done what I did makes me feel confident.

          Last night, someone else made a move, further exemplifying boldness and demonstrating its positive impact. This courageous disposal of pride, though not mine, was directed my way. The person behind the act was admittedly hesitant to reach out to me, but was glad to have “[grown] some balls” and done so. The initial message I received can be summarized into three words: “I miss you.” That, friends, is bold. There are few other words that so forcefully set aside pride in salvage of something more important: connection. As I said (in addition to “I miss you too”) in response to the sender’s obviously apprehensive tone, “Here’s how I see it: Pride is bullshit. ‘I miss you’ is one of the bravest things you can tell someone.”

          Friends, be upfront about how you feel. Do you really want to look back on a lifetime of undefined relationships and wonder what might have become of them if you had just expressed yourself? Break the stupid rules. Fuck the game. Play without instructions. In life, and in regard to interpersonal relationships especially, be brave, be daring, and be bold. I’d take rejection over regret any day. Wouldn’t you?

Happiness Tip: Be bold.

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