Yes vs. Happiness

May 21, 2014 by

          I’m adamant about saying yes to social invites. It is an excellent way to expand your social life. Whenever I have to decline one for a reason other than that I already have plans, I feel guilty. I feel like I’m missing out on opportunity to meet new people or engage in new experiences. However, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that saying yes isn’t always financially feasible. That’s just life. We have to say no to some things so we can afford to say yes to other things that we want to do more. We have to make trades. Personally, I like to focus on what I’m getting out of those trades over what I’m choosing to forgo.

          Financial limitation aside, another valid reason for declining a social invite is the way particular people make you feel. Most often, I say yes to invites. Saying yes usually works in my favour. I almost always have an awesome time and I often meet new people. Recently, though, I had to give myself permission to undo my yes. I had to let myself out of a social situation that made me anxious. The people comprising it made me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. I debated about it for at least half an hour before actually leaving, feeling guilty for not taking full advantage of social opportunity. Initially, I wasn’t willing to give myself the out because of my own principle. Then, I reminded myself that the ultimate purpose of my principles/happiness tips is to generate happiness. Continuing to say yes to a social situation that I wanted to walk away from was not making me happy. I knew that what would make me most happy in the moment was to leave the people I was with, which is exactly what I did. #TheHappinessExperiment!

          On my way home, I abolished my guilt by reminding myself that being surrounded by people that make me feel good takes precedence over saying yes to social invites, even if those social invites may lead to new friends. I have standards for the type of people I associate with, and I have no problem ridding myself of those that don’t meet them. There is no need to feel bad about saying no to people whose company makes me feel anything other than happy. I don’t jeopardize my happiness for anyone.

Happiness Tip: Associate with people that make you feel good, and dissociate from those that do not.

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