Dating Tip for Guys: Nieces and Nephews are Valuable Assets

Dec 26, 2013 by

          In passing, I’ve mentioned how I melt over pictures of guys with children. It’s ironic that I don’t want babies of my own, but my uterus jolts when I see a guy playing with kids. Children can instantly transform a guy from cute to insanely attractive. Boys, if you do not already have pictures of yourself with your younger siblings, little cousins, or nieces and nephews on your phone, get some ASAP! Make use of them when out with girls, and they will serve you well. Trust me. Consider my uncle, who I called out on Christmas Eve for using my sisters and I to score my aunt.

          “Remember when I was seven and you brought your now wife over to carve Halloween pumpkins with me and my sisters?” I asked my uncle in an accusatory tone.

          “You remember that?” he responded in surprise.

          “Of course! It’s the only time that you’ve ever carved Halloween pumpkins with us. Even at seven years old, I thought that was suspicious. It finally makes sense. I can’t believe it took me until my twenties to clue in. You and your brothers used me and my sisters to pick up girls, just like guys use their nieces and nephews on me now. It totally works!”

          My aunt and uncle laughed.

          I turned to my aunt to bait him out, “FYI: Pumpkin carving with my uncle never went down before you. It was obviously successful though. You married him.”

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