Best Friend to the Rescue

Oct 10, 2013 by

My inbox has never looked so flattering.

My inbox has never looked so flattering.

          Given my boring date two nights ago, yesterday morning, I woke up discouraged about my boyfriend search. Including Tuesday night, I’ve been on three dates in approximately two and half months (which is good progress compared to my previous count of zero in a time span that I wish not to disclose, preferring to salvage some pride). While the experiences were positive by allowing me to further pinpoint my preferences and standards, none of these guys appealed to me. However, it was not my disinterest in them that I found disheartening. I certainly did not expect to find Prince Charming after only three dates. Rather, it was my thoughts surrounding the sources that led to these guys that made the ongoing dating game seem daunting.          

          To recap, my wine bar date was from speed dating, and both my summer coffee date and my recent board game cafe date were from Match. Although I enjoyed speed dating, it is not something that I can afford to do on a continuous basis. As for online dating, I didn’t like it. Without speed dating and online dating, my only routes to dates as of late, it is understandable that a brief sensation of hopelessness had set in. Note that, since yesterday morning, my attitude has changed. I plan to be more attentive to guys while out and keep my dating goals in mind while speaking to them, as opposed to primarily engaging in conversations for the fun of socializing. Until I arrived at this mindset, though, I was feeling somewhat sad.

          Luckily, I have the best best friend in the world! Stuck in single-status sadness, I signed into my email to send Olivia a whiny message about being boyfriendless. (Yes, Olivia and I email each other regularly. Why, yes, we are the cutest best friends. We’re very aware.) Before I could even compose a new email, my sadness had dissolved. As soon as I logged in, I saw the subject line, “You are happy,” sent from Olivia, and just like that, I was. That statement was all I needed to recover my happiness. This year, The Happiness Experiment has made happiness a fact for the first time in my life. Prince Charming suddenly didn’t matter.

          This email was one of many. My best friend is obviously psychic. Already knowing that I would need cheering up yesterday, she had taken it upon herself to provide me with a list of reasons why I’m a cool chick, each delivered as a separate email, probably for emphasis. (She’s extra like that, and I love her for it. She clearly kicks my ass when it comes to sweetness. I wish I was as consistently thoughtful as she is.) In chronological order, below are the contents of the eleven emails that made me melt yesterday. (The ones about me being fearless and social are my favourites!) If my heart were PC Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ice Cream (Olivia is convinced that I’m 13 percent peanut butter, by the way. I wouldn’t be surprised, and she would bet money on it. – Oh. My. Fucking. God! I just Googled “PC peanut butter ice cream” to get the exact name of the flavour for this post, and found out that PC, in addition to my favourite PC Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ice Cream, now has a new peanut butter ice cream: PC Cream First Peanut Butter Ice Cream! Gasp! I think, I think, if the Google image is not teasing me, it has peanut bits/whole peanuts in it! TBD. Friends, don’t get excited about the peanuts yet! I’m not sure. I can’t find a written description online. I’ll get back to you once I try it! Oh, this is so going down on Thanksgiving! #peanutbutteraddict), it would be just peanut butter cream (which sounds amazing!). I nearly popped a blood vessel trying to hold back happy tears while reading. I am so grateful that I have a best friend like Olivia. (Girl, thank you × infinity for all that you do. I love you with all of my PC Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ice Cream.) Don’t you wish she was yours? Too bad! She’s taken.




Subject: You’re confident.

Message: The way you present yourself is confident and so self-assured, even on days when I know you aren’t feeling your best.




Subject: You’re fearless.

Message: Other than you, I’ve never met someone who I can actually say DOES live life as if she weren’t afraid.




Subject: You have integrity.

Message: You’re 100% a girl of your word and you stick by what is important to you, which is really rare, not only in people our age, but in people EVERYWHERE.




Subject: You’re positive.

Message: If this were last year, I don’t think I’d be able to say this, but this is not last year. This is right now, and I would never hesitate to say you’re one of the most positive people I know.




Subject: You are happy.

Message: That’s it. There’s not much to expand on this because all that’s important is in that sentence. Don’t even read the next one for at least a few minutes (I know this will be hard for the impatient part of you), so you can just sit and think about the fact that you are genuinely, unequivocally, without-a-doubt happy.




Subject: You’re hilarious.

Message: Now, don’t let this overinflate your ego, but you’re so funny. I think it’s important because you’ve gone through a lot, and you were able to keep that part of yourself that can find humour in everything. You know what they say: “You gotta laugh.”




Subject: You’re social.

Message: For you, talking to people comes as easy as breathing. Even with strangers, you speak as if you’ve been friends for years. You’re somebody people want to know.




Subject: You’re dedicated.

Message: You wanted to change your life. You did. You wanted to make friends. You did. You wanted to start a blog. You did. You want to go to Europe. You WILL. You are the only person I would put a 100% full-faith bet (no money cap – literally any amount under the sun or any material possession) on achieving any goal because you just make things happen.




Subject: You’ve got your shit together.

Message: You’re 23, and yet you’re more financially savvy than literally anyone at any age that I know. You have realistic goals and a good idea of where you want to go and what you want to do. You’re headstrong, and you aren’t easily swayed from what you believe is important.




Subject: You ARE the girl who persevered.

Message: I know you think it’s a joke, but you have persevered through so much. Not many people can say they’ve completely turned their life around, and did it of their own accord. You took ownership over your life and you made things happen. At the end of the day, you are your own hero.








          I know that the dating thing has bummed you out, and it’s completely understandable. You’re a completely cool chick who could rock some guy’s world, so why can’t anyone see that, right? Before I continue, this wasn’t my way of saying, “Don’t be sad” or “It’s not that bad” or even the dreaded, “He’s out there somewhere, Maria; you just need to be – gasppatient!” No, I’m not about that. I’m about being bummed (Temporarily! You don’t want to dwell.), because it is shitty. So feel it out. Be frustrated. Be sad. Be wrought with despair. But what I’m also about is the positive things in your life: the things that make you a cool chick, the things that make you awesome, the things that make you an inspiration, the things that you should be proud of.

          By this point, you would have read all of those things and hopefully they put a smile on your face. Now, I want you to reread them all with this in mind. Even though they don’t make you feel better about the boyfriend thing, you still need little specks of positive light to balance out the darkness.

          I love you, girl, and you have so many amazing things going for you. Just remember this: you aren’t even living The Happiness Experiment anymore; you ARE The Happiness Experiment.


Previous: The Online Dating Verdict Next: The Adventures of the Poor . . .

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