Boyfriend by Valentine’s Day

Jun 2, 2013 by

          On Friday night, this came out of my mouth: “If I have a boyfriend by February, I should celebrate Valentine’s Day. You know what? I will have a boyfriend by February and I will celebrate Valentine’s Day.” I wanted to eat my words and swallow them to erase all traces. It was too late. The damage was done. I had created a time-sensitive goal for myself – the T of the SMART goal, if you will. Challenge fearfully accepted.

          When I say something, I typically make it happen. To give a few examples: (1) I’ve always said that I would go to Italy. This was my younger self’s big dream. I was on a plane to Rome four months following my final university exam, and I went again the next summer. (2) With no intent of moving at the time, I said that I would like to live in a particularly popular building while driving by it one day in late November 2011. Three days later, with only a sleeping bag and my best friend, I moved into my current apartment located in that very building. The night I signed the lease, I also found out from my landlords that my building housed the suites that were modelled inside the mall across the street in 2005. I toured those model suites when I was 15 years old, telling my dad that I wanted to live in one of them one day. I had unknowingly moved into one of those exact condos. (3) Last February, I said that a year from then I wanted to be working for a new employer. Within the year, I had quit my job, basked in unemployment, and found a new job.

          I’m definitely a doer. It’s one of my favourite personal qualities. Therefore, these and my other successes should be comforting. Based on my past goal-attaining behaviour, I will likely have a boyfriend to celebrate Valentine’s Day with next year. However, unlike my other goals, having a boyfriend does not solely depend on me. It also depends on an amazing guy who meets my standards wanting to be with me. This makes me far less confident in my ability to achieve this particular goal. What was I thinking? I don’t like to fail. According to my romantic history (laughing out loud at the fact that I just used that term to refer to my past dates), this goal has high potential to fail.

          On another note, I don’t care about Valentine’s Day. I’ve always been apathetic to it. This may have been because I’ve never had a reason to celebrate it; but, even if I had, I honestly couldn’t care less for flowers (which I don’t like), jewellery (which I rarely wear and prefer the fun, fake stuff when I do), and whatever else typically comes with Valentine’s Day. Worse, I just put pressure on my future boyfriend. (Dear Future Boyfriend, I take full responsibility for my words, and plan to plan a hot night babe.) Why would I choose Valentine’s Day as my cut off?

          Well, what’s said is done. The important thing is not whether I succeed or fail. It’s that I go for what I want regardless of my fear of failure. That’s one thing that’s for sure. Now that I’ve said it aloud, I will make an effort to go for it. It’s just how I roll. I’m not-so-secretly so excited to try to make this happen!

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