The Male Perspective

May 11, 2013 by

          Last night, I went for a drink with a guy friend from high school. (By the way, I’ve discovered another important happiness tip: Reach out to people to make plans! How profound.) We haven’t seen each other since Christmas time. After driving through a torrential downpour to a tapas bar by the lake, we began catching up on each other’s lives. Of course, I took full advantage of having a guy’s opinion for a night.

          I asked the imperative question, “If you were interested in a girl, would you not text her for four days?”

          He laughed, responding with, “It depends if I’m playing games with her or not.”

          Awesome. I told him the story (if it even had enough weight to be considered one). Watching skepticism emerge across his face, I stopped part way through, “Now that I’m saying this out loud, this sounds really bad, doesn’t it? I think I just answered my own question.”

          With a look of concern, he said (note: he knows me as Theresa), “Honestly Tree, this guy sounds like a huge douche bag. As soon as you said he mentioned his hotel across the street, he seemed like an asshole. You need to be more careful. It doesn’t sound like you know him very well and you went to his hotel room.”

          He was absolutely right. Albeit sweet, I brushed off his concern for my safety to continue ranting, “Nothing happened! I was very clear that we weren’t having sex. We made out until the morning. I think that’s fine. My rule is legs closed, which they figuratively were. I don’t know what it is about me that says, ‘fuck only.’”

          Apparently I’m funny, because his laughter persisted. “Maybe it was the part when you said, ‘Do you have a girlfriend? No? Let’s go find somewhere,’” he sarcastically retorted.

          I grinned in shame. Right again. “I was trashed!” I defended.

          “Which is probably why he thought he’d be able to convince you to fuck him,” he pointed out.

          “That’s true,” I said, not that the idea hadn’t previously crossed my mind. “That’s why I honestly wasn’t expecting to hear from him after. I assumed it was just one hot night to once again be followed by his disappearance into my memory. I didn’t have his number anymore. I gave him my new one, not expecting him to use it. Then I was surprised by him texting me almost daily for a week before he suddenly stopped. Ugh, he’s not interested, is he?” I asked with a tone a disappointment.

          “Oh, I think he’s interested,” he confirmed. “I just don’t think he’s interested for the same reasons that you’re interested.”

          I knew it. I promised not to go out with the guy if he does eventually ask. My friend agreed that I shouldn’t. It’s amazing how one conversation with a guy friend moved me from interested in someone to completely turned off. Not because I think the guy is a douche; I don’t. We had an amazing night together. Simply because what I want won’t be found in him. His intentions are likely different from mine, which doesn’t make him a bad guy; it just makes me uninterested.

          I love platonic guy-girl relationships. They’re so insightful. Note to self: Do not expect to attract relationship-ready guys by going to their hotel rooms and/or cars to make out all night after a club. Even no sex can lead to no relationship and make me feel like a slut. Silver lining: I am no longer hoping for a text.

          Guy friends, thank you for all of the work that you do for us ladies.

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